Acting on a tip from intrepid explorers Jack and Tres, I have located a mother lode of fossil artifacts. According to legend, a tornado spawned by the Great Blow of 2015 vacuumed up several feet of the desert surface, uncovering magnificently preserved fossils from the distant past. This vast trove will keep fossilologists gainfully employed for a period of time. Read more.
The Mojave Transit
Vast White Landscape Discovered
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
I discovered an enormous swath of the Earth covered with sand as white as snow. I call it “White Sands” and it is right off US70 in New Mexico.
As you can observe from the attached photo record of the expedition, “White Sands” reminds one of Tatooine, childhood home of Luke Skywalker.
Xena, Warrior Princess, Stashes Her Toys
In an unanticipated development, Xena, Warrior Princess, has opted to hide her toys in my shoes. When I first discovered a pebble, one of her favorite toys, in my shoe, I assumed some sort of accident placed it there. Now, however, I have found a micro-tennis ball. She clearly is trying to hobble me so I’ll stay home with her.
Xena Surveys Her Domain
Haus Panther Attends New Cat Orientation
Oh, no! I have a house panther infestation!
Once again, my house is infested with a house panther. Just arrived today. Fortunately, I can easily overpower the beast, as she is tiny.
House panther.
Finally! Non-GMO Water!
Ha! Whole Foods has outfoxed the Deep State, which is trying to force GMO foods and water on us all. Stock up while you can. Special bonus: it’s also kosher!