London I

QM2 arrived right on schedule, early on the 28th. Since I (alone amongst the passengers) could handle my own luggage, I had leave to disembark as soon as the gangway was rigged. Taxis were lined up waiting; one whisked me to the train station. The train was standing by, I boarded and we were off through the green, green countryside.

Arrived at Waterloo Station, London, crossed the street to the Union Jack Club. The front desk said I could check in early, which was very fortunate. I hadn’t slept well the night before, a combination of pre-disembarkation jitters and the couple in the adjoining stateroom having an unhealthy amount of sex. So…I went immediately to bed.

I should mention that the Union Jack Club is a private club, membership limited to enlisted members of the UK military. I got to stay because I’m a member of the Marines Memorial Association in San Francisco…we have reciprocal privileges. It is not fancy, but its clean and nice, with its own bar and restaurant. It’s location is ideal for exploring London.

On my first 5-mile stroll through London, I visited Covent Gardens. There are no gardens at all! It’s a shopping mall. Interesting, though, and worth a visit. I lunched at the Punch and Judy, where the puppet concept was born.

I visited the Transport Museum and was awe-struck by the number of people swarming the place. I could see that reviewing the historical development of public transit would interest wonky nerds, but I had no idea that all of the British are wonky nerds!

Check out this traditional London black cab! Only vehicle in the world purpose-built as a cab! Here, the toddler is reviewing the finer points of design and construction with its parents. Mastery of these critical concepts is required for entry to kindergarten.

Although not in the Transport Museum, this curious object was found on a nearby street. The explanatory signs were basically word salad, making no sense. “Operator calls” “Dial tone” “20p” Archeologists from Kings College London are puzzling it out.

July 30, 2023

Queen Mary 2: The Atlantic Crossing

Addendum to the New York post: Prior to my visit, I did not realize that New Yorkers are fond of dressing in antique clothing. Several, perhaps many, of the men walk the streets in old-fashioned “suits,” complete with colorful streamers tied around their necks! Just like in the olden days! I asked one if he was a docent illustrating New York of yesteryear; he became huffy and inarticulate. There are several antiquarian shops selling various articles of clothing from that era.

Brooklyn, NY, to Southampton, UK, on the Queen Mary 2 is what I imagine a magic carpet ride would be. Smooth, Serene, Leisurely. My stateroom was twice the size of my earlier crossing, five years ago. My long-time friends, Merrill & Gennaro, had a stateroom twice the size of mine! Even larger quarters are available. For a hefty price.

I lost two ping-pong tournaments here. Only one was my fault, as it was a singles tournament. The second was doubles and I blame my so-called “partner.” Met some nice teenagers, though, from Canada and SoCal. The SoCal kid and I liked to make fun of the British. Did you know they apologize for scoring points? They do. They also apologize for winning. Peculiar!

One of the many lounges aboard QM2. Someone seems to have left a martini laying around.

This is not an abstract sculpture. These fins are, in fact, actually spare propellor blades QM2 carries around, in case some get damaged by running aground. Not an inspiring vote of confidence in the captain.

Pretty art pieces adorn the stairwells of QM2.

July 22, 2023July 23, 2023

New York City

ennui [Fr. ennui, OF. enui, L. in odio] The feeling of mental weariness and dissatisfaction produced by a want of occupation , or by lack of interest in the present surroundings or employments.

Now I know why the French invented the word “ennui.” It is used to describe the barely bearable tedium of a 4-hour ground delay at SFO, waiting for a flight to Newark. Some scaredy-cat bigwig was frightened of commonplace thunderstorms and, so, we waited. None of the flights to neighboring airports were delayed, so I took it personally.

Alaska Airlines breakfast served as a mid-afternoon snack. Surprisingly hot and flavorful.

The traffic at the Newark Airport was hilariously chaotic. I now understand why auto makers still put horns in cars. It’s for the New Yorkers. They love honking horns almost as much as they love ignoring others honking their horns!

One good thing about arriving in the middle of the night, is the wide open road, once you get out of the airport. A brisk Lyft ride and I was in Manhattan, staying at the Yale Club, across the street from Grand Central Station.

The Yale Club common room. Portraits of famous alum adorn the walls (Presidents Taft, Clinton, Both Bushes). Sotomayor is relegated to the stairwell.

Grand Central Station. New Yorkers are fond of train rides and take many of them. It’s a magical building; outside, no trains. Go inside, dozens of trains! Incredible!

New Yorkers. One wonders if they are aware of the enormity of their self-parody. Everyone is O! So Busy! Rushing around with their street faces on, unsmiling, frowning, perpetually irritated. Many of them (stupidly) wander the perilous, crowded streets with headphones or ear buds installed. Amazing!

Walgreens in NYC keeps practically everything behind locked plexiglass. Not just high value items, like in normal Walgreens. That means you have to ring for a clerk when you want something. They provide efficient and effective service in the traditional harsh and brusque manner. Also, only in NYC can the request “One shopping bag, please” be said as a soul-scorching insult.

I toured United Nations Headquarters; it looks just like all the pictures you’ve seen. I didn’t realize the extent of their art collection. My tour group was a mini-UN itself, comprising people from all over the world. The Secretary General walked by our group and bade us “Good morning!”

The Secretary General draws a breath so he can greet us.

One of many large tapestries, this one made in memory of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster.

A close-up showing the detail of the tapestry.

A display of the critical parts a of the UN Declaration of Human Rights.

April 10, 2023April 11, 2023

Desert Tripping

Journeyed back to the American Southwest, via San Luis Obispo and Palm Springs. I’ve mapped out dispersed, aka wild, camp sites to break the longer legs into shorter ones. I’m in no hurry, so why drive long hours when I can stop and stay in the comfort of my own mobile house?

Visited Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. Yup, that’s a real place. Named after a radio show from days gone by. It used to be called Hot Springs. Throngs of celebrities converged on the town in the 1950’s annually, to host the radio show.

The natural hot springs here have the highest mineral content of any water anywhere! I suppose that means it is hard water, but it sounds better the first way. I soaked in an excellent private pool and was restored to the radiant vitality of my youth.

I camped here on the the bed of a used-to-be lake, called Elephant Butte (EL a FONT boo TAY) Lake. While there, I mounted an archeological expedition to identify significant artifacts from the past.

Xena, the Warrior Archeologist, assisted with my efforts. I was too busy with my scientific endeavors to take an actual photo, so I had MidJourney, the artificial intelligence artist, re-create the scene.

Archeology is a very easy field, requiring little more than strolling across the terrain. My first discovery was this dinosaur toenail, embedded in the dry lake bed.

Before positively identifying the object, I considered the only alternative: a doorway to an inter-dimensional portal. One of the privileges afforded me as a Master of Science is the freedom to test hypotheses without supervision. This I did, aided by a locally-procured wooden probe. Alas! Nothing but dirt under it. At least my first theory was proven correct: dinosaur toenail. I believe it is the first ever recovered.

I also discovered this object of unknown origin. Speculating from the fine workmanship and exotic materials, it appears to be of extra-terrestrial origin. I sent the coordinates to the ET Liaison Office in Roswell, in case its owner can be contacted.

I visited the Geronimo Museum, which has little to do with Geronimo, but much about the fine dresses women wore. This, of course, was in the days of gender inequality, when women got all of the niceties and men were required to wear drab clothing.

Here’s a close up of the fine workmanship of these dresses. Having little else to do, pioneer women made fabulous clothes.

This is an example of the type of chair the cow farmers would strap to unwitting horses. They used the thin strips of leather you see hanging from the front of the chair to coerce the horse into obedience.

The Desert Southwest is a sporty place, so I engaged the locals in the manly art of bean bag tossing. I bested him, leaving him in a state of consternation.

March 27, 2023

Around the Bend

I journeyed north to Oregon (rhymes with Octogon) to see the snow, which is a form of powdered water. The inhabitants are called The Oregon and share many characteristics with people. Their dwellings and attendant furnishings are built to a scale familiar to us and many of The Oregon have some facility with verbal communications. You would have no trouble getting along should you happen to visit.

The native clothing of The Oregon is based on tubes. They construct thin sheets from plant fibers, then fashion them into tubes. Two tubes for the lower extremities, two tubes for the upper and one tube for the torso. Many of The Oregon take great care to differentiate themselves and establish a social hierarchy by modifying their tube clothes in different ways and adorning themselves with shiny objects. Fascinating!

Nostalgic placemat from a roadside diner. — Dined at a roadside diner…the last opportunity before entering the territory of The Oregon.

An interesting bar and cafe frequented by The Oregon. Did you notice the seating made from ski lift chairs? Creative!

It is fashionable to provide outdoor seating, but these designers overlooked the fact that no one, not even The Oregon, want to sit around in the bitter cold. Consequently, these plazas are unused. Wasteful!

Xena, the Warrior Princess, relaxes after a day walking through the ice and snow.

Before a tragic log milling incident, Bend was a town. Now it is just a pit stop for tourists. Here is the epicenter of the horrific incident, involving this wrecked apparatus.

It is one of the constant irritants of modern life that newts are confused with lizards. Is it really so hard to learn the correct names of animals?

The cold arrives so quickly in Oregon that animals are quick frozen, like these two antlered cows. This increases their risk of predation.

Pools for every taste! Hot tubs, warm pools and an ice bath! Who could want for more?

January 28, 2023

Xena, the Adventure Cat, Unveils Her Travel Blog

Hello everyone, it’s Xena, the Adventure Cat! I’ve started a blog to share my travel adventures with all of you. From the beautiful mountains to the sandy beaches, I’ll take you along on my journey. And the best part? The text on my blog is generated by ChatGPT, so you know it’s going to be a great read. Subscribe now to see where my paws take me next! Xena.blog

The text for this announcement was generated by chatGPT.

This part is written by me, a human. I started a blog for Xena for 2 reasons. First, many of you asked for more stories written from the cat’s perspective. Second, I wanted to play around with chatGPT, the artificial intelligence tool that has been in the news in January, 2023.

January 24, 2023January 24, 2023

New Cat Orientation

Many readers, presumably prospective cat owners, have clamored for details of the New Cat Orientation guidelines. Xena found these fascinating and studied them intently. Here are the guidelines, re-formatted for internet viewing.

New Cat Orientation

Welcome to the household! We hope that you will find your life here a satisfying and enriching experience. We have learned that you can make the transition to full-fledged house panther easier by following a few simple rules and remembering:

An orderly and disciplined approach to life is the key to happiness.

Cats are known for being silent stalkers and killers. Please polish that reputation by remaining silent at all times. Except for purring, which is acceptable.

Cats are not permitted on the counters. Previous house tigers misunderstood this rule by thinking they could prowl the countertops during my absence. This is strictly forbidden.

Mealtimes are fixed. Snacking between meals is frowned upon. Begging for food or otherwise making a nuisance of yourself in pursuit of handouts will gain you nothing.

Adequate sleep is critical for optimal health. Accordingly, you may not engage in boisterous patrolling of the house during sleeping time. You are encouraged to nap during these periods.

Elimination of bodily waste is permitted only in designated areas.

January 24, 2023

Xena Tells Her Story, Chapter One

This story was written by ChatGPT, as part of a learning experiment. So, not everything is factually true, but it’s not far off. You can experiment for yourself at openai.com. The guidance I gave chatGPT is at the bottom of this post.

I was just a tiny kitten when I was first brought to the SPCA. My cage was small and no one had time to play with me. I spent my days alone, watching the other animals come and go. But I knew that I was special. I was fierce and fearless, even at such a young age.

One day, a man came to visit the SPCA. He walked past all of the other animals, but his eyes locked onto mine. I knew that he was the one. He reached into my cage and scooped me up, cradling me in his arms. I meowed softly, nuzzling his hand.

The man took me to my new forever home, and I quickly realized that I had been given a second chance at life. My new owner was kind and loving, and he gave me everything I needed. He taught me how to hunt and how to fight, and I quickly grew into a fierce and powerful warrior.

My new owner named me Xena, and I lived up to that name every day. I protected my home and my family from all who dared to threaten us. I roamed the countryside, battling fierce beasts and vanquishing evil warlords.

But no matter how far I roamed, I always returned to my home and my owner, who was my true family. I was grateful for the second chance he gave me, and I knew that I would always be there to protect him and his home.

I may have been just a small kitten when I was first adopted, but I grew up to be Xena, the Warrior Princess. And I will always be fierce and fearless, no matter what life throws at me.

The guidance to chatGPT: Write a chapter of a book titled “Xena, the Warrior Princess” The chapter will introduce Xena, the Warrior Princess, who was adopted as a tiny but fearless kitten from the SPCA. While at the SPCA she lived in a small cage and no one had time to play with her. One day, a Man came, adopted her and took her to her new forever home. Write it from Xena’s perspective

January 17, 2023

¡Sunny Puerto Vallarta!

A short excursion to the sunny beaches—enough of the rain already! It seem a little weird traveling without a cat and a van, but both had to stay home this time.

PV is a fun place to visit, with all the things you’d expect to find in an emerging economy. Long known as a mecca for tourists and North Americans wanting to live abroad, PV hosts tons of great restaurants and bars, many of which I sampled. It is crowded, just teeming with people from all over. I think Mexicans may be a minority here. There are four primary activities here: eating, drinking, napping and walking on the seashore. The walking is free, napping depends on your choice of accommodations, eating & drinking are a third of US prices.

Mexicans love to dance! Here you see a couple in fine form.

They have a all-ages rocking horse pavilion, the only one of its type known to exist. There are rocking horses for every size and shape.

In Puerto Vallarta, they have short, squat lighthouses tended by short, squat keepers.

Here’s a towering Church of the Unwed Mother. They have them everywhere! Very handy when you need to make a quick confession.

Beautiful sunset over the Pacific, boats await tomorrow’s labors, children play in the surf.

Xena, the Warrior Princess, does not appreciate being left behind.

December 24, 2022December 24, 2022

The Living Desert, Palm Springs

The Living Desert is an excellent zoo and botanical garden near Palm Springs. They specialize in numerous varieties of cows. They also have an enormous miniature train traveling through a number of faux mountain tunnels and across ravines on detailed little bridges. I was so awestruck by the wonder that I failed to take pictures.