CalExpeditions

Category: Short Hops

  • Loneliest Road?

    US-50 is billed as the loneliest highway in America. I drove it, west to east across Nevada. Ha. I’ve seen lonelier, especially in southeast Utah. The drive was exciting at times…I had to drive through a snowstorm for most of the day it took to traverse Nevada. My mud&snow tires plus all-wheel-drive inspired confidence. Xena, the Warrior Princess, was unconcerned and napped, missing most of Nevada.

    Snowy Nevada roads. I could only take pics during the relatively calm parts of the drive. You’ll have to imagine the parts where the roadway was completely whited out.
    This road is much more to my liking.
    I’ll bet you think you know what a shoe tree is. Think again and look closely.
    That’s right, shoes! Hundreds of shoes tossed into this tree, right the middle of empty Nevada.
    I’ll have to give Nevadans one thing…they have a really big moon.

  • Bend has a River

    I have journeyed again to the land of the Oregon and have discovered a remarkable river. I call it Deschutes, so that I can show off my knowledge of French. It is at times placid and then ferocious. The Oregon living here claim the river has fish in it, but none were in evidence.
    Real cats don’t need labels.
    This is one of the placid stretches of the river. The Oregon have not opted for heating, so the water is inadvisably cold.
    This is one the mildly terrifying ferocious parts of the river. Still too cold.
      Finally, Xena, the Warrior Princess, asked me to share her latest blog: Xena’s Silent Tribute
  • Southwest Romp

    Southwest Romp

    Took another trip through the Southwest, concentrating on southern Utah and northern New Mexico. I was again struck by the similarities between cruising on a sailboat and road tripping in a camper van. Both have moments of serene calm and awe inspiring scenery. And both require repairs of various components in remote locations.
    Pretty scenery accompanied by the comforting tones of suitable tunes. Turn it up.
    Xena, the Warrior Princess, loves to dig holes and she’s good at it. And not just for pooping! Sometimes she lays in them. Sometimes she digs for the sheer joy of it and wanders off.
    More red rocks. Poor sound quality. Turn it down.
    We had snow at 10,000 feet in Northern New Mexico!
    An early example of the architectural style known as “brutalism” in an urban setting.
    Xena ponders her next move in the deserts of Southern Utah.
    The Winslow, AZ, tourist bureau, inspired by that Eagles song, created this corner. It was the first corner constructed in this part of Arizona.
    Xena. Looking particularly leopard-like.
     
  • Desert Tripping

    Desert Tripping

    Journeyed back to the American Southwest, via San Luis Obispo and Palm Springs. I’ve mapped out dispersed, aka wild, camp sites to break the longer legs into shorter ones. I’m in no hurry, so why drive long hours when I can stop and stay in the comfort of my own mobile house?

    Visited Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. Yup, that’s a real place. Named after a radio show from days gone by. It used to be called Hot Springs. Throngs of celebrities converged on the town in the 1950’s annually, to host the radio show.

    The natural hot springs here have the highest mineral content of any water anywhere! I suppose that means it is hard water, but it sounds better the first way. I soaked in an excellent private pool and was restored to the radiant vitality of my youth.

    I camped here on the the bed of a used-to-be lake, called Elephant Butte (EL a FONT boo TAY) Lake. While there, I mounted an archeological expedition to identify significant artifacts from the past.

     

    Xena, the Warrior Archeologist, assisted with my efforts. I was too busy with my scientific endeavors to take an actual photo, so I had MidJourney, the artificial intelligence artist, re-create the scene.

    Archeology is a very easy field, requiring little more than strolling across the terrain. My first discovery was this dinosaur toenail, embedded in the dry lake bed.

    Before positively identifying the object, I considered the only alternative: a doorway to an inter-dimensional portal. One of the privileges afforded me as a Master of Science is the freedom to test hypotheses without supervision. This I did, aided by a locally-procured wooden probe. Alas! Nothing but dirt under it. At least my first theory was proven correct: dinosaur toenail. I believe it is the first ever recovered.

    I also discovered this object of unknown origin. Speculating from the fine workmanship and exotic materials, it appears to be of extra-terrestrial origin. I sent the coordinates to the ET Liaison Office in Roswell, in case its owner can be contacted.

    I visited the Geronimo Museum, which has little to do with Geronimo, but much about the fine dresses women wore. This, of course, was in the days of gender inequality, when women got all of the niceties and men were required to wear drab clothing.

    Here’s a close up of the fine workmanship of these dresses. Having little else to do, pioneer women made fabulous clothes.

    This is an example of the type of chair the cow farmers would strap to unwitting horses. They used the thin strips of leather you see hanging from the front of the chair to coerce the horse into obedience.

    The Desert Southwest is a sporty place, so I engaged the locals in the manly art of bean bag tossing. I bested him, leaving him in a state of consternation.

     

  • Around the Bend

    Around the Bend

    I journeyed north to Oregon (rhymes with Octogon) to see the snow, which is a form of powdered water. The inhabitants are called The Oregon and share many characteristics with people. Their dwellings and attendant furnishings are built to a scale familiar to us and many of The Oregon have some facility with verbal communications. You would have no trouble getting along should you happen to visit.

    The native clothing of The Oregon is based on tubes. They construct thin sheets from plant fibers, then fashion them into tubes. Two tubes for the lower extremities, two tubes for the upper and one tube for the torso. Many of The Oregon take great care to differentiate themselves and establish a social hierarchy by modifying their tube clothes in different ways and adorning themselves with shiny objects. Fascinating!

    Nostalgic placemat from a roadside diner.
    Dined at a roadside diner…the last opportunity before entering the territory of The Oregon.

    An interesting bar and cafe frequented by The Oregon. Did you notice the seating made from ski lift chairs? Creative!

    It is fashionable to provide outdoor seating, but these designers overlooked the fact that no one, not even The Oregon, want to sit around in the bitter cold. Consequently, these plazas are unused. Wasteful!

    Xena, the Warrior Princess, relaxes after a day walking through the ice and snow.

    Before a tragic log milling incident, Bend was a town. Now it is just a pit stop for tourists. Here is the epicenter of the horrific incident, involving this wrecked apparatus.

    It is one of the constant irritants of modern life that newts are confused with lizards. Is it really so hard to learn the correct names of animals?

    The cold arrives so quickly in Oregon that animals are quick frozen, like these two antlered cows. This increases their risk of predation.

    Pools for every taste! Hot tubs, warm pools and an ice bath! Who could want for more?

     

  • The Living Desert, Palm Springs

    The Living Desert, Palm Springs

    The Living Desert is an excellent zoo and botanical garden near Palm Springs. They specialize in numerous varieties of cows. They also have an enormous miniature train traveling through a number of faux mountain tunnels and across ravines on detailed little bridges. I was so awestruck by the wonder that I failed to take pictures.

    These are Australia’s laziest animals, the wallowbees, so named because they spend their days wallowing in the dirt. So lazy are they that they’ve developed skin pouches to house their young to avoid carrying them!

    This rare type of tiny cow has short little prong-like horns! Bizarre!

    Genetic engineers at The Living Desert created this white cow to avoid over-heating in the desert sun. They developed the long, straight horns to serve as spear-fishing implements. Post mortem, of course.

    Stripedy cows consent only to have their butts photographed, a fetish common to their kind.

    This hideous cow has been extensively modified to produce a great hump (not shown in the photo) on its back. The hump is comprised entirely of filet mignon. Wagyu-grade. Yum yum!

    One final example of an odd cow produced at The Living Desert. This one is not genetically engineered. Instead, engineers stretch an ordinary calf on a rack until its neck is elongated, a practiced denounced as unnecessary by animal rights advocates.

    No one expected that a cross between a dog and a cat would result in such beauty. They call it a “cheetah,” ostensibly due to its refusal to follow the rules.

    I had hoped to see the wolves, but they were on holiday, visiting relatives in Mexico. The Living Desert substituted German shepherds in their absence.

  • Vast White Landscape Discovered

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    I discovered an enormous swath of the Earth covered with sand as white as snow. I call it “White Sands” and it is right off US70 in New Mexico.

    As you can observe from the attached photo record of the expedition, “White Sands” reminds one of Tatooine, childhood home of Luke Skywalker.