In 1536, an apostate Catholic priest, Menno Simons, thought believers should be baptized as adults instead of infants. He formed the Mennonites. Professing a belief in adult baptism was a capital crime in those days (as some think it should remain so today), so the authorities rightfully arrested and killed them.
In 1693, Swiss bishop Jakob Amman yearned for a more demanding and severe form of Christianity than the Mennonites offered, so he formed the Amish (get it? Amman => Amish), which, in addition to adult baptism, believe that people should wash their feet. They also believe in the social shunning of former Amish, just as Christ prescribed.
Over time, the Amish tired of being deprived of their property and lives, so they accepted William Penn’s 1681 offer to move to the part of the New World we now know as Pennsylvania.
Upon arrival, the Amish found themselves unable to cope with the hustle and bustle of 17th century Pennsylvania, so they asked Penn for some place further removed from modernity. He sent them to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where they remain to this day.
In Lancaster, they feast on a variety of delicacies, like pickled baloney. Whoopie pie is a derivative of the more common (and more tasty) Ho-Ho. Shoo-fly pie is sort of like pecan pie, without the pecans.Pennsylvanians love to compete over the sizes of their barns. This leads to structures that are not proportional to the needs of the agri-business.Amish in their native habitat. Note the buggy slowing the progress of the giant tractors, also operated by Amish. That’s right, the Amish are not averse to using modern machines…as long as they are not in the house.In Lancaster, they adore living in old houses; there are many scattered throughout the towns and villages.Amish country of today is mostly a gigantic shopping mall, filled with useless items that no one on Earth needs. The only exception is the perfectly sized braided rug that lends a home-like atmosphere to my van. And also the cute little jars of jam. Those are definitely necessary.I don’t know about you, but I think it should be unlawful to sell (alleged) Navajo wares a continent away from the actual Navajo.There is such a thing as a National Toy Train Museum! Stuffed full of model trains and huge dioramas with little trains running through them. The only drawback: shrieking children running to and fro with untoward excitement.Pennsylvania is experiencing a extreme shortage of musicians, forcing each of the scarce ones to play several instruments simultaneously.Pennsylvania has an abundance of wasted space, making it a prime candidate for infill development.
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